Eastman... until we meet again.

Eastman has been a wonderful experience every time I've been a part of it.

I've met many new friends. I've been inspired by the sincerity and passion the kids have for both music and their faith, and I've loved seeing them be so uplifting to one another.  I saw none of that high-school bantering, putting each other down.  This year's eastmanners were a phenomenal group of people.  Interacting with this group of 'kids' (as i like to call them, though they are quite mature) was nothing less than a blessing.

Even though it may be cliche to say it, I think this has been the best group of eastmanners yet, and I hope the trend continues, and that I can play some part in it in future years.

Eastman... until we meet again.


Now for some personal reflection:
As the 2010 eastman choir has finished its 6 week stint, I see many facebook messages with the words 'I miss you' on them.  I'm not sure what it is about me, but I've never really felt like I miss someone, now I guess thats not entirely true, but for the most part.  For example the eastmanners, I know I won't be seeing many (if any) of them for a while, but I don't think i'm going to 'miss them'.  I've always kind of adapted and accepted the parameters of the situation my life is in on any given day, if i'm going to be seeing a fun group of friends (definitely my more favorite days) I accept that that will be coming, but if i don't see them for a while, I'm not sure if i miss them.  I realize i'm not explaining this all that well, but maybe I don't know what it means to miss someone.  So I shall end with a question,

What does it mean to you, to miss someone?

Green Bread and Spaghetti

Have you ever gone out at night, looked at the stars, and wondered; "did i leave the fridge on?".

If NO, read 'a)'
If YES, read 'b)'

a) Then you forgot
b) How can you see the stars when your eyes are in the fridge?
c) Who told you to read 'c)'?
d) Why are you still reading these....
e) The instructions were quite clear on what you were allowed to read.
f) I'm going to bed now, and so should you.
g)
h) HA!  I bet you were excited to read 'g)' but HAHAHAA, there was nothing there!
i) ...
j) I'm not going to write anymore...
k)  ...
l)
m)  WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS!
n)  ...
o)
p)
q)
r)
l)
s)
t)
u)
v)
w)
x)
y)
z) Notice anything?

Always seems to be weird

It always seems to be weird when I bump into one of my friends.  I think it makes sense that its weird, but I think it should stop being weird already or at least soon.  Maybe its me, maybe its her, I dunno.  Anywho, i won't be mysterious, if you haven't guessed, i'm talking about the person I once dated.

"Girls are like the moon,  made of cheese."

Super Duper Awkwardness (or maybe i'm misreading it) but I don't know for sure, I need some opinions

Okay, story time!

So, in Anatomy class I have one friend, this friend happens to be a girl, in class we sit next to each other and do pre and post lecture chit chat about nothing, we're class friends, or so I thought.  I've had a slight suspicion that maybe she likes me (i'm some big smart 3rd yearer and she's a 1st yearer who i've helped get to a class or two). Anywho so I've had a sneaking suspicion that maybe she likes me or is starting to.  Then after class today she ended up walking with me towards where the busses are (since she was getting a ride from a friend) then saw her friend (apparently her 'bestest friend ever') and said she just had to talk to her.  So (i think i made the right choice here) I said bye and booked it to the bus stop.

Anywho, so then I get home and there's a friend request from her, no big deal right?  right, I mean, I have a couple friends on facebook that are 'class friends'.  But then here's the kicker....  she sends me a message....  and here is what it reads;

"hey shawn how are you? thanks for accepting my friend request, now maybe we'll talk more often than anatomy class hah :)"


Am I reading something into this that isn't there?  I mean, I'm pretty sure that she likes me (or something), maybe i'm full of myself.  But it kind of unsettles me.  I have no reciprical feelings of 'like' for this girl, she's a 'class friend'.  Which is a kind of friendship where we both get someone in a class to say hi to and talk to on downtime, instead of just sitting around.

Basically... how should i respond to her facebook message?  And what do you think, am I reading too much into this?

What I need to take to heart

So I was listening to Back to the Bible today and the topic is super relevant for me. Repentance versus 'Saying I'm Sorry'

Here's the audio link: http://www.backtothebible.org/index.php/Today-on-Back-to-the-Bible/Today-on-Back-to-the-Bible.html

Below is a summary of main points, as well as a section of what was talked about.

Number one:

Repentance always distinguishes itself from regret.

Number two: 

Repentance always means more than saying you're sorry.

Number three: 

Repentance always arises out of brokenness.

Number four:

Repentance recognizes your offense against God, not just against others.

Number five: 

Repentance never attempts to dictate the terms of restitution.

Number six: 

Repentance never retaliates or seeks revenge.

Number seven: 

Repentance is real only when subsequent change is evident.

"Repentance is not just saying you're sorry. Repentance is not just saying, "I did a wrong thing; I did a bad thing. I admit it; I did a bad thing." That isn't repentance; that's just confession.

Repentance is the changing of one's mind (That's what the word repentance means in the New Testament.), the changing of one's mind so that one's views and one's values and one's goals and one's actions are changed to fit God's views and His values and His actions and His goals. And you're life is lived radically different as a result.

Now, we don't see a radical change in the way the people of Israel lived. I would guess then that they confessed their sin, but they never repented of their sin because there was no radical change in the way they lived their life subsequent to their confession.

So, here are the seven laws of repentance. Let me just give them to you quickly, and then I'll draw a conclusion with regard to them.

Number one, repentance always distinguishes itself from regret.

See there's a difference between regret and repentance. Regret touched the emotions, but regret rarely goes deeper than that. Judas regretted what he did to the Lord Jesus. We're told that in Matthew 27, but there's no evidence (that) Judas ever repented of what he did. There was no change of mind. Regret is remorse over the consequences of an act; but repentance involves re-ordering our lives around God's will for us, not just saying, "I'm sorry, please forgive me." That isn't repentance; that's regret.

So, number one: repentance always distinguishes itself from regret.

Number two: repentance always means more than saying you're sorry.

Remember the cartoons a few years ago: "Blank, blank, blank means never having to say you're sorry." Well, saying, "I'm sorry" is good; but saying, "I'm sorry" is not enough. That's a confession of sin; it's no evidence of repentance.

Repentance, number three: Repentance always arises out of brokenness.

People never repent over the things that do not break their will. So, if you have sinned and you feel bad about that and you've confessed that sin and asked for forgiveness but it hasn't broken you to the point that you feel so bad about it that you will never do it again and repair the damage you've done, you haven't come to repentance; you've simply come to say you're sorry.

Let me read something to you. This comes from The Reuter's News Service. 

You may remember this, I'm quoting now:

*"Dan Leach made national headlines with his response to The Passion of the Christ. After seeing the movie, Leach confessed to murdering his girlfriend. Her death had been ruled a suicide, but he admitted to strangling her because she claimed to be pregnant with his child. Not wanting the responsibility, this man killed her and successfully avoided suspicion until turning himself in three months later.

"The surprises," says Reuter's, "the surprises did not end there. On May 3, 2004, he stunned everyone but his attorney by pleading not guilty. Outside the Texas courtroom, his attorney explained the decision to reporters. He said, 'If I enter a plea of guilty, I waive several valuable rights that I'm not prepared to do so for my client at this time.'"

Do you see what just happened there? He confessed to killing his girlfriend. He regretted killing his girlfriend, but he was not broken over killing his girlfriend. So, he saved some of his rights under the law so he could plead not guilty. When you plead not guilty and you know you are, that isn't confession; that's a lie. So, what we have here is a person who understood the value of not bearing guilt but trying to relieve yourself of it simply by saying, "I'm sorry."

The seven laws of repentance, here's law number four:

Repentance recognizes your offense against God, not just against others.

See, when I sin against you, it's not just you I sin against. When I sin against society, it's not just society I sin against. When I sin against me, it's not just me I sin against. Sin, ultimately, always, is against God.

Here's law number five (of) the seven laws of repentance: Repentance never attempts to dictate the terms of restitution.

When you repent, you don't say, "OK, I need to be restored; how about a three-months program in the easiest prison in the state," you know? We saw that in some recent high profile trials in the United States: those who were guilty negotiating the terms of their own incarceration.

But here, these people say, "Do to us whatever seems best to you." See, real repentance does not try to dictate the terms of restitution. You simply say, "I was wrong; I'm sorry; I'm changing my ways; you do to me whatever you think is best. I'll take whatever punishment I get because I have it coming to me." That's repentance.

Number six: repentance never retaliates or seeks revenge.

You know, after your repentance because of sin, and some punishment has been laid upon you, you don't then plot how to get back at the people who laid the punishment on you. If it's genuine repentance, you know you deserve it. And it's going to be no pleasure for those who have to inflict that punishment on you, anymore than it is on you. But you know you deserve it, so you never plan to retaliate.

And number seven, the final of the seven laws of repentance: Repentance is real only when subsequent change is evident.

Listen, don't tell me you're sorry and turn around do the same thing again. That is not repentance; that is insincere confession. And there's a world of difference between the two.

Publish Post

Repentance is such an important part of a healthy spiritual life, so let me encourage you to ask God to give you a repentant heart. And then take the time each day to keep short accounts with Him. Make sure you're doing the right thing. And when you aren't, tell Him about it. Repent of your sin and receive His forgiveness. It's better for both of you."

-From Back to the Bible October 19

What is a blog?

What is the purpose of a blog?  Why do you write your blogs?
I am in orbit, debating (with myself) whether or not a blog is something I should do?
Is it a portal into the mind of the blogger, for those who read it?
Is it a place to write down funny things?
Do we write for the audience or for ourselves?

I'm very tired

I'm very tired.  Weekend >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Excellent

But now I'm tired.  My eyes are telling me to shut them, and sometimes I do, but then I open them again cause I'm kind of freaked out...  I mean... how can my eyes tell me anything!?!??!!?!?!??!?
Maybe I should just listen to them, so they don't kill me.

So..........  very...........  tired.........

tiredly,

Sleepy head

Hyper Story Time

I am writing to you today, thats right, to YOU, my friend from Hong Kong.  Here are some stories for you to contemplate.

A toaster has two lives, the first we see every single day when we make toast.  The second we dont' get the opportunity to see.... EVER!  But I recently became friends with a toaster and he told me about it.  Here is his story.

"We're not on when we're off."

And there you have it!  Now you know!  Just Kidding!

There's so much more to happen yet!

The Toaster, in the mortal world, appears to be a motionless lump of steel that is only capable of changing bread into an entirely different substance known as toast.  Thats all we mortals see the toaster being capable of, but its really capable of much much more.
Every toaster is part in the mortal realm, and part in the tortal realm.  Fortunately for the toasters there are few turtles in the tortal realm, as turtles are the toasters mortal enemy.
The bug flew behind the big machine till it died!
In the tortal realm toasters are the supreme being and all other lifeforms live in fear of the toasters.  These other lifeforms are the beings of rye, whole wheat, cucumber, pumpernickel, bagel, and carrot!

The toasters are really really nice to everything though, they only toast things on the mortal side, and then only because mortals force them to.

The end!

The Beginning!

If flies fly kites what do mouses fly?
If alfalfa is spelt two and a third times how many alfalfa's do you have?
alfalfaalfalfaalf

NONE!!!!!

Okay, all my hyperneuroticism (i made that word up) is out.  Goodnight.

One final thought.

If you had the power to turn a piece of cheese into toast, would you?

Some Deeper Thoughts

I'm going to start maybe writing in here sometimes about more than funny things.  Here's a start:

To God, there's no sin worse than another.  Sin is sin, a sinner is a sinner. To God, a little white lie is the same as adultery or even murder. To God, a liar is no better or worse than a murderer.  From this I conclude that I cannot judge another person on account of their sin. I see it through worldly terms; to us fallible mortals, murder is way worse than a lie. But to God, a sin is a sin, and a sinner is a sinner.  And yet he loves us, imperfect as we are, all of us, he loves each and every one of us, with all of Him.  I want to learn to love as God does, so what will I do?  I will try to refrain from judging a person; on appearance, on what I hear about them, on anything.  I will pray that God guides my thoughts and opens my eyes so I can see, and that he will forgive me when I fall.

One thing I've struggled with, that I've become aware of in the last couple weeks, is how I feel about what Jesus did for us, dying on the cross for me.  Hearing this line in the song 'Amazing Love' : "It was my sin that held him there..." makes/made (i'm praying about it) me feel guilty,  I am the cause for Jesus death (i know not me alone), it is my sin that caused him pain, that brought the whip upon his back.  But I've been reading my bible, praying that God would clarify this for me.  I found a verse, though I can't seem to find it now, that says something to the extent of "I will take your sins upon myself."  Which is different than I was/am looking at it.  He'll take the penalty of our sins upon himself out of his love for us.  He wants us to call on him so we can be washed of our sins by his blood.  Jesus forgives us for the sins we commit, if we bring them to him, and he washes us clean.  He holds no grudge against us (which is something that I semi-thought he would hold against us) for our sins.  He did all he did in his life, death, and resurrection out of his love for us.  "Amazing Love, how can it be, that you my God would die for me."

There's some deepness.

Bus Trip Writings....

SHORT STORIES


Once upon a time there was a pig named Tarkunikah.  Tarkunikah didn't fear death at all, in fact, it was his dream to one day become the perfect ham, one that had been smoked and flavoured with hickory.  Tarkunikah's hope was that he would be given to a poor family and that they'd be able to live on him for many days.  Alas it was not meant to be, for he was eaten by a wolf.

An original by me.

One day in a land beyond the horizon, there lived an ent named Bigatrious.  Bigatrious was a young Ent and was being trained to become the "Ent of all Ents". It was his future duty to guide the ents.  This destiny Bigatrious did fulfill, but he had a bladder problem.

An original by me.

In the beginning of the day, an ogre was born.  It was the most hideous thing ever to walk the earth and it's name was Achoomachoopackododo.  Achoomachoopackododo knew that it's destiny was to become the most beautiful being to ever walk the earth.  This was its destiny because it was to experience every level of image so it could relate to these beings.  To become beautiful, Achoomachoopackododo, had to eat a spider, which it did and then it was beautfiul.  Plus, now Achoomachoopackododo could climb walls and shoot webs.

An original by me.

THOUGHTS


What do clouds think?
- Clouds think that people are funny because they're always running around.
- Clouds think that green and blue are wonderful colors but are sick of them because that's all they see.
- Clouds think up new dreams to give people.
- Clouds fear the day that they can no longer hold "it" in
- Clouds like cordon bleu
- Clouds think clouds are complicated


What is creativity?
-Creativity is the ability to capture bugs, but not any bugs; idea bugs.
What are idea bugs?
- Idea bugs are bugs that are made up of flooby-jooby gorbers.
What are floobyjooby gorbers?
-No one knows.


Any question?
-That is the question isn't it.
What is the question?
- Any question?
Exactly.


What is chaos?
-Chaos is A-B-D-C
-Chaos is 231, 233, 232
-Chaos is Coash
-Chaos is Magenta
-Chaos is not Ralph!!!!


LIMBER RICKS!


Girls think that they're so touch
but that's such a bluff
Guy's are strong
Girls are wrong
we can take them out in a huff


Girls are so very very icky
and they're so very picky
they can't make up their mind
on anything they find
and they are so fickly


The spider had a gigantic butt
when I was it I though, What?
It was an egg sac
I thought it was whack
that spider must be a slut!


I feel like there's a pressure building inside me
It's not something that I can see
I don't know what it ss
but i can guess
I think I really have t pee


The bus driver can see all
out of his mirror that is quite small
he knows what you're doing
and if you are pooing
but he makes sure you don't fall

Junior High Writings

Not What I Seem to Be (song with many minor chords)

I'm not what I seem to be
I hide behind my smile
All my worries and my pains

I wear a mask of happiness
Because I don't want you to see
Who I am beneath

I'm a broken man
Shamed of my life
I wanna hide my pains from you

I have never told anyone
about what I feel
my anger and my sadness

I want to tear this mask off
and show the world,
Who I really am

I'm hurting inside
and I don't know what to do
I need help from you

I'm weak can't go on alone
I need someone to help me
through these trouble times

I need something now
To give me strength
I need your help to get through

Help me I pray.

ACRONYMS


G et up and out of bed
O r you don't get breakfast
D anish hens and beans

J ust for you and me
E verlasting life given to us
S o we can be with God
U nderstand that no one is
S inless but we are forgiven

TOMBSTONE (The Hyphen)


When you're gone
Dead and buried
Will you go to a better place
What will you leave behind

On your tombstone it says
the year you were born
and the year you died
with a hyphen in between

The hyphen is your life
what were you doing for those years
Would God be pleased?
Will the hyphen be a symbol of a holy life
Or will it symbolize a WASTED life.

When people visit your tombstone
will they see the hyphen and think
What a godly life you lead or
will they see the hyphen
and be glad you're dead

Only You

God, only you know the path of the winds
Only you see our hidden deeds
only you know the answer to our every question
only you, Lord, only you

You watch us from heaven, Lord
you know whats to come, always
You prepare us for it all
Only you Lord, only you

You give us free will, a choice
we do make mistakes, often
you let them show us the way
only you, Lord, only you

Your love for us knows no bounds
you made each of us, unique
we tremble in your presence
only you, Lord, only you

You are our creator God
We want to serve you Lord
we're instruments for your will
For only you Lord, only you

Only you lord, only you,
Only you Lord, oh-oh-only you (repeat [ ] times)

only you


Thoughts
there were other ones,  like ones about girls, but I seem to have ripped those pages out.  Essentially one of them was something to the extent of "Does she even know my name"?  included in that were lines such as "i though our eyes locked, but she was looking past me"  etc.
There, now we're even...

"Girls are like moose."