So I was listening to Back to the Bible today and the topic is super relevant for me. Repentance versus 'Saying I'm Sorry'
Here's the audio link: http://www.backtothebible.org/index.php/Today-on-Back-to-the-Bible/Today-on-Back-to-the-Bible.html
Below is a summary of main points, as well as a section of what was talked about.
Number one:
Repentance always distinguishes itself from regret.
Number two:
Repentance always means more than saying you're sorry.
Number three:
Repentance always arises out of brokenness.
Number four:
Repentance recognizes your offense against God, not just against others.
Number five:
Repentance never attempts to dictate the terms of restitution.
Number six:
Repentance never retaliates or seeks revenge.
Number seven:
Repentance is real only when subsequent change is evident.
"Repentance is not just saying you're sorry. Repentance is not just saying, "I did a wrong thing; I did a bad thing. I admit it; I did a bad thing." That isn't repentance; that's just confession.
Repentance is the changing of one's mind (That's what the word repentance means in the New Testament.), the changing of one's mind so that one's views and one's values and one's goals and one's actions are changed to fit God's views and His values and His actions and His goals. And you're life is lived radically different as a result.
Now, we don't see a radical change in the way the people of Israel lived. I would guess then that they confessed their sin, but they never repented of their sin because there was no radical change in the way they lived their life subsequent to their confession.
So, here are the seven laws of repentance. Let me just give them to you quickly, and then I'll draw a conclusion with regard to them.
Number one, repentance always distinguishes itself from regret.
See there's a difference between regret and repentance. Regret touched the emotions, but regret rarely goes deeper than that. Judas regretted what he did to the Lord Jesus. We're told that in Matthew 27, but there's no evidence (that) Judas ever repented of what he did. There was no change of mind. Regret is remorse over the consequences of an act; but repentance involves re-ordering our lives around God's will for us, not just saying, "I'm sorry, please forgive me." That isn't repentance; that's regret.
So, number one: repentance always distinguishes itself from regret.
Number two: repentance always means more than saying you're sorry.
Remember the cartoons a few years ago: "Blank, blank, blank means never having to say you're sorry." Well, saying, "I'm sorry" is good; but saying, "I'm sorry" is not enough. That's a confession of sin; it's no evidence of repentance.
Repentance, number three: Repentance always arises out of brokenness.
People never repent over the things that do not break their will. So, if you have sinned and you feel bad about that and you've confessed that sin and asked for forgiveness but it hasn't broken you to the point that you feel so bad about it that you will never do it again and repair the damage you've done, you haven't come to repentance; you've simply come to say you're sorry.
Let me read something to you. This comes from The Reuter's News Service.
You may remember this, I'm quoting now:
*"Dan Leach made national headlines with his response to The Passion of the Christ. After seeing the movie, Leach confessed to murdering his girlfriend. Her death had been ruled a suicide, but he admitted to strangling her because she claimed to be pregnant with his child. Not wanting the responsibility, this man killed her and successfully avoided suspicion until turning himself in three months later.
"The surprises," says Reuter's, "the surprises did not end there. On May 3, 2004, he stunned everyone but his attorney by pleading not guilty. Outside the Texas courtroom, his attorney explained the decision to reporters. He said, 'If I enter a plea of guilty, I waive several valuable rights that I'm not prepared to do so for my client at this time.'"
Do you see what just happened there? He confessed to killing his girlfriend. He regretted killing his girlfriend, but he was not broken over killing his girlfriend. So, he saved some of his rights under the law so he could plead not guilty. When you plead not guilty and you know you are, that isn't confession; that's a lie. So, what we have here is a person who understood the value of not bearing guilt but trying to relieve yourself of it simply by saying, "I'm sorry."
The seven laws of repentance, here's law number four:
Repentance recognizes your offense against God, not just against others.
See, when I sin against you, it's not just you I sin against. When I sin against society, it's not just society I sin against. When I sin against me, it's not just me I sin against. Sin, ultimately, always, is against God.
Here's law number five (of) the seven laws of repentance: Repentance never attempts to dictate the terms of restitution.
When you repent, you don't say, "OK, I need to be restored; how about a three-months program in the easiest prison in the state," you know? We saw that in some recent high profile trials in the United States: those who were guilty negotiating the terms of their own incarceration.
But here, these people say, "Do to us whatever seems best to you." See, real repentance does not try to dictate the terms of restitution. You simply say, "I was wrong; I'm sorry; I'm changing my ways; you do to me whatever you think is best. I'll take whatever punishment I get because I have it coming to me." That's repentance.
Number six: repentance never retaliates or seeks revenge.
You know, after your repentance because of sin, and some punishment has been laid upon you, you don't then plot how to get back at the people who laid the punishment on you. If it's genuine repentance, you know you deserve it. And it's going to be no pleasure for those who have to inflict that punishment on you, anymore than it is on you. But you know you deserve it, so you never plan to retaliate.
And number seven, the final of the seven laws of repentance: Repentance is real only when subsequent change is evident.
Listen, don't tell me you're sorry and turn around do the same thing again. That is not repentance; that is insincere confession. And there's a world of difference between the two.
Repentance is such an important part of a healthy spiritual life, so let me encourage you to ask God to give you a repentant heart. And then take the time each day to keep short accounts with Him. Make sure you're doing the right thing. And when you aren't, tell Him about it. Repent of your sin and receive His forgiveness. It's better for both of you."
-From Back to the Bible October 19
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